glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize