So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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