the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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