Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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