omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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