WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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