Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize