Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize