her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
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im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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