I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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