I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
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I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
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What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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