also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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