so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize