ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
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Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize