Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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