If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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