I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize