does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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