I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize