I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize