Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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