You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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