I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize