But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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