We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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