If i come over, it means nothing
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
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Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
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He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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