It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize