I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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