I'm eating all of the evidence.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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