He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize