I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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