my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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