Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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