Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
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I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
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I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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