My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize