i need an iv and a liver transplant
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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