Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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