Whatcha textin bout Willis?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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