I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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