You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
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You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
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This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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