okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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