What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize