So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize