I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize