He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
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I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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