just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
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I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
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You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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