He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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