I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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