One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize