the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
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you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
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hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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